"Faith is like a free fall sometimes. I guess I just freak out sometimes."
Hello friends! I am writing this after we just hosted a lovely dinner party at the Fellowship House, and my heart is so full.
For this post, we were given another prompt. "What am I learning about the challenges, struggles, and benefits of the life-on-life discipleship community I know as The Fellowship?"
Let's start with the challenges! They might not be everyone's "cup of tea," but I always look for ways to grow and challenge myself personally. So, what challenges have I faced since coming to The Fellowship? Well, for starters, I moved into a house with four strangers and agreed to spend time with them for 12 months! That was a challenge at the start, although if you know me, you know that I love people. However living with people can be such scary territory, y'know? What if I am too forward? What if my new friends don't like me? What if we don't have anything in common? What if they have habits I don't like? OR, on the flip side, what if they don't like certain things I do? What if they don't like coffee? What if they just don't like me? That was challenging to navigate at the start.
Additionally, trying to be intentional in my relationships with my newfound friends and even the people teaching us has been challenging. When do I push questions? Am I asking too many questions? Why aren't they asking me as many questions? All these can be scary thoughts for me at times and often cause little anxiety bubbles in myself.
To reference this week's song, "Faith is like a free fall sometimes." It felt like a leap of faith coming here. But through that, I have learned so much about my newfound friends, whom I consider family. And I've learned some stuff about myself, too! I'm learning about each of our strengths and how we can use them as a team. I am learning what it means to be a disciple and just how difficult that is for us as humans. I am learning to love my team well and in a manner worthy of Christ. And so much more!
Now, what struggles have I faced since joining The Fellowship? The first that comes to mind is my siblings and friends. I have struggled to communicate with my siblings and certain friends since joining The Fellowship. Not because I don't have time to, but because I am bad at communicating over texts/calls. I just don't think to text or call
people a lot of the time. I constantly think of "I miss my brothers/sisters" or "Wow, I miss this friend or that friend." But my instinct isn't to call or text, and because of that, it has been a struggle since I came here. From that, I have learned the power of a quick text or voicemail. I'm becoming more adamant about reaching out to people, but at the same time I am still growing!
What are the benefits of a life-on-life discipleship community? Let me tell you! Are you familiar with a guy named Jesus? He had 12 disciples, and He WALKED through life WITH THEM. He did not say, "Hey, fellas, let's meet at Starbucks every Friday and talk about scripture." He actually did quite the opposite! Jesus went and gathered these 12 men and told them, "Hey! I want you guys to follow me. I want you to let me walk through life with you so we can learn from each other." Isn't that amazing?
He didn't tell them to show up once a week or ask if he could hang out on the weekends. He wanted to be a part of their lives. I don't know how many of you have ever moved in with four people and started reading the Bible, but it does some fantastic things! One of the most significant benefits of this life-on-life discipleship style has been disagreeing with each other. When we have different perspectives or completely
disagree on things, that brings the most growth! It forces us to study our own beliefs and become more grounded in what we believe, OR it causes us to look with fresh eyes and read up on new ideas that later on help shape our beliefs and make them much stronger! Honestly, I am beyond thankful for the ability to have conversations about challenging topics with people who love me so much that they are willing to share their knowledge and even ask my opinion! And I can do the same with them! Isn't that so fun?
As I bring this blog to a close, I am overjoyed by this program. Honestly, I am so thankful for this opportunity and this new community. Thank you so much for reading my blog! I pray it brought you some joy and, hopefully, a glimpse of what God is doing with this crew.
The song for this post is Faith!?, by Chris Renzema.
This was your best blog. You present such a positive attitude, which makes you a pleasure to be around. But I know there are times when something is happening behind the smiles. I appreciate the honesty and vulnerability of this article. Keep up the great work!